Pick yourself up!

When I started this blog, I told all of my friends and family to read it, like it and share it. I was chatting with my friend Todd the other day after he had read one of the blog posts. He was saying that he liked it and he encouraged me to continue – he is always so supportive. He then texted that he was sure that my next blog would be about falling or my nearly constant skinned knees, because he knows how clumsy I am. We laughed and eventually one of us had to go. It was a nice chat with a good friend.

And there was something in the conversation that stayed with me… It was his joke about me falling all the time. It was just too true. It is not necessarily something I am proud of, but it is a fact and it is one of the characteristics of my running (and cycling). I have some funny wipe-out stories and I laugh about them with friends. It isn’t really a big deal to me, but other people certainly notice. You’d think I am the only mom dropping off their kids at school with big scabs on their knees…. Hmmmm, actually, I am – as one mother so kindly pointed out. My daughter leapt to my defense and told me not to let the other mommies make me feel bad. I am beautiful to her, apparently, even with skinned knees.

But I digress… because I think this post is about resilience, how to keep going after the fall, how to pick yourself up after you fall, after you make a mistake or fail. Coming back from these painful incidents is something I was discussing during a coaching session the other day. A coachee had set a big goal and had experienced a set-back.

So, what comes after the fall? What do you do when you find yourself on the ground… hurt… dazed... and probably shaken… The truth is that the way people deal with a fall varies widely. Everyone has their particular way of handling things. In my life, I tend to do a rolling damage control. I am up again and moving immediatly. For better or for worse, my first instinct is to get up, brush myself off, and keep moving. Keep running, in fact. I always continue the run until I make it home (prompting some funny glances and concerned looks). Blood streaming down my legs and arms, I continue on. This is how I deal with adversity. I persist. I stay kinetic.

This strategy might not work for everyone, but dealing with failure and adversity is one of the big topics I hear about in coaching. Because we all have bad days. We all fall and fail. And it hurts. Resilience is key. Knowing how to deal with adversity is key. The important thing is to find the strategy that works for you and use it. Staying kinetic (in motion), is my strategy, but there are many others. And remaining in motion does not mean I that I have not been affected, shaken, hurt. I slow down my pace. I try to shake it off, but sometimes I lose my confidence... For days or weeks later I run delicately… Watching how I place each footfall. It takes time to get over a fall. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself time and love and whatever you need to recover.

But keep “running”. Don’t give up. That is the key. If life were a race, for me it would be a marathon, not a sprint. Life, for me, is not about the quick wins or falls along the way. Or rather it is ALL about the quick wins, falls and experiences along the way. It is about the journey. The individual falls, the wins, the losses, they do not define us. The way we react to them defines us. The way we CHOOSE to react to them defines us. I am defined by who I am along the way and who I want to be. I am defined by the way I respond to adversity, be it personal or professional set-backs or a fall on the running trail.

Falling has taught me the importance of resilience and this helps me when coaching someone who has experienced a set-back. I get it. And falling has taught me to pick myself up time and time again and to continue on, maybe more slowly and even limping on occasion, but to keep going. It has taught me to accept help to get back up (although I still need to work on this). In short, each fall is an opportunity to practice resilience. It is an opportunity to reflect on what happened and to learn. It is an opportunity to further define myself. Each scar on my knees and arms tells a small piece of the story of my life. So, let the other mothers stare and point. I will remain stubbornly proud of my falls and the lessons they have taught me… and my daughter thinks I am beautiful even with skinned knees.